The Bean's birth was difficult, I found it hard to talk about it and really didn't equate his arrival with that day. I had to be induced as my contractions didn't start after my waters broke, so with the help of drugs I began a natural delivery. Complications 9 hours in meant I had to get an emergency C-Section, there was approximately 10 minutes between this being decided and him arriving in the world. While I'm glad the delivery team were so good, the whole thing left me traumatised. We nearly lost our little boy and I had to go through the long recovery from unexpected major surgery. I felt crap but got on with it, as you do with a new born, and hoped things would get better.
3 months down the line a friend of mine was due to have her first baby too, like me she was going to be induced. Facebook posts were up, we were all waiting for the new arrival. In the middle of the night I was up feeding the Bean and started to cry. I was worried that my friend would go through what I did and all the trauma of his birth came back to me. This wasn't the first time I had been upset about it but it was the worst it had been and I decided I needed to do something.
First I spoke to a friend who was open about her PND, she said to get some help. I went to see my doctor for a referral, then I lined up an appointment with a lovely lady to chat about my issues. She is a trained psychologist, but is also a midwife so fully understands the whole process you go through from pregnancy to birth and beyond.
She helped me take a different view on the birth, now I can look back and focus on the important things, our healthy, happy little man making his way into the world and the love we share for him. I've had two sessions so far and both have helped me deal with my issues and focus more on the good things in life.
My PND isn't extreme, but it doesn't have to be to benefit from speaking to a mental health professional. PND can hit anything up to a year after birth so don't sit there and wonder if what you are feeling is normal, speak to your GP about your concerns.
Useful links for PND
PANDA
Beyond Blue